Emotional Paychecks

I had a talk with another coach today about how there are teachers who teach only for the summer vacation. She has 2 young kids and said that she would hate to find out someone important like her daughter's reading teacher only wanted to be a teacher for the free summers. This was discussed after we talked about how real teachers don't come to school for real paychecks but instead for what should be called emotional paychecks.

There is a girl on my basketball team. She is going through a really rough time. Her dad signed her up for basketball and now her parents are divorced. She feels like she can't do it without him and also hasn't seen him since the whole thing began. I think its been about 2 months from what I can tell. Her mom works a whole lot so she has to drop her off at 6:45 in the morning for 7:30 practice. The poor thing freezes out there. They don't have a lot of money so she is never adequately dressed for cold weather. Recently her attitude has changed at school and she has had a lot of emotional outbursts with other teachers and coaches.

She comes to me to talk and quiet down, but sometimes I feel like I just can't help her. I know mostly it is just that she is a needy kid who wants some attention. I tried to help her understand that her dad still loves her and its not her fault... which I know personally will take years to sink in. She wants to quit basketball sometimes because she feels like no one cares. She is someone who I would be worried about if she were to quit. Who would her friends be and what trouble would they be causing? I tried to help her understand that she has a talent with basketball and how great it would be to tell her dad all the cool things she had been doing on and with the team. I also explained that being at school is a lot like living a second life.... not to say that its not included in home life but that sometimes you have to put other things aside and focus on the task at hand. This was not easy to put in 7th grade terms and again, from personal experience I know its a hard thing to master.... I know I surely haven't yet.

The other day after coming late to practice and having a horrible attitude I suspended her from the game, but I sat down with her and explained all of these things over again. She cried the whole time because I guess no one really has ever talked to her like this. The other coach who was in and out of the office looked over and said the only reason you (basketball player) are even in here is because she (me) cares about you which pretty much caused the flood gates to open more. This of course brought tears to my eyes... which is not a difficult thing to do, but I was trying my hardest to push them back inside. Anyhow we talked for a while and I helped her figure out how to apologize to another coach. I also talked about putting her on probation... because I felt like this technique would give her a kick in the right direction. She agreed and said she would try hard.

This morning she came to the locker room early for practice as usual and handed me a Christmas themed bag. I know it was used previously. There was a fuzzy little bear inside. I know it was hers at one time. Instead of tissue paper there were 2 white copy papers crinkled like you would for real tissue paper. There was also a note. Inside she wrote it like a 12 year old would to a close friend. At the bottom of the note it read " I just want you to know something. I will do my best in basketball. Thank you."

That's not even the best part. The best part is that she smiled during practice and played harder than ever... just because she heard the words "I care about you."

So that is the story of how I received one of the greatest emotional paychecks of all times. And even though I need to pay for my rent, car and other various items... I am never going to forget that this is the reason I wanted to be a teacher. Not for the holidays. Not for the weekends. Definitely not for the pay.... but for the chance to touch a child in hopes that she will one day pass it on.